This Can(t) Be (Billdip)
by softspace
Summary: After he told Bill that he couldn't be with him anymore without an explanation, Dipper starts to feel guilty. But the fear of his family finding out about the romance and disowning him was greater. But Bill was not one to give up on something so easily. Especially when he let Dipper so deep into his existence.


**Need**

 _Bill smiled down at Dipper, warm sunlight filling the room. Bill leaned forward, pressing his lips gently to Dipper's. This all felt to real. It was quiet and the kiss was soft and calm. Until Bill broke away, blank faced and cold. The attic got darker and the warm feeling disappeared. Bill melted into a puddle of goop on the floor, Dipper screamed in horror at the sight. Then he noticed three figures had entered the room. His family._

 _he could faintly hear what they were saying, till they got louder and louder and louder. And they got closer, Mabel at his right shoulder, Stan at his left, Ford right in front of him. They screamed, ranting on about how wrong he was, how much he was hurting them._

 _How could you? How could you say you love him after all he did to us?! We're your family Dipper! How could you betray is like this? Don't you remember what he did? Your awful! Disgusting!_

 _Dipper tugged at his hair, clenching his eyes shut to stop the tears as he fell to his knees._

 _"Stop! Stop it! I'm sorry! Make it stop please!" He cried out._

 _They got closer and closer..._

Then he woke up.

Cold sweat dampening his forehead, he clutched his chest, trying to stop the rapid heartbeat and heavy breathing. He was losing it. This had to stop.

"Another bad dream pine tree?"

Dipper jumped out of his chair and spun around, meeting with gold eyes that sparkled in the dim light of the moon light that spilled through the trianglular shaped window.

"What are you doing here? I told you to stay away from me." Dipper said, his voice trembling.

"Aww, are you still mad at me? Honestly pine tree, I don't even know what I did to make you so mad." Bill said, walking towards Dipper.

"Get out."

"Don't you still love me?"

"I said get out." Dipper said a little more stern this time.

"That doesn't answer my question." Bill said darkly, reaching out to to grab Dipper's wrist and pull him closer. Dipper didn't have time to react, as Bill's other arm snaked around his waist.

Dipper tried to pull away, but he was held in place. His mind racing trying not to give in. But he couldn't deny he wanted him. He wanted him so bad that it hurt. He wanted to feel his breath on his neck, and his fingers running through his hair. He wanted to feel his lips pressed to his. Dipper just wanted him. But he couldn't have him. As much as he wanted to give into temptation he couldn't.

"Let me go!" Dipper shouted.

"Shh, shh. You wouldn't want to alert the rest of your family, would you? What would they think it they saw you with me?" Bill whispered.

He was right. Dipper had to be quiet. Even though he wanted to scream and curse at the demon in front of him. Even though he had to admit none of this was his fault. Well maybe the dream he had just woken up from was his doing. But he had no proof.

"What do you want?" Dipper spat, his voice considerably lower.

"You."

"I told you. We're over, I don't want anything to do with you anymore."

"I don't think you understand what you got yourself into, you are mine, mind body and soul. You can say we're nothing. But you would only be lying to yourself." Bill told him, tightening his grip on Dipper's wrist and waist.

Dipper had forgotten about this. Bill had mentioned plenty of times about this fact. How could it slip his mind so easily?

"We can't."

"We can."

Bill didn't want to hear anymore objections so he smashed his lips against Dipper's. The brunette's eyes widened, he wanted to kiss back. He really did but he shouldn't, and Bill knew that. That was the difference between the two. They knew they shouldn't be doing this, but Bill didn't care. He was never one to follow the rules.

Dipper's mind was still racing, screaming at him to do something! He had a feeling Bill wouldn't pull away till he got what he wanted. So slowly Dipper pressed his lips to Bill's. Bill smiled into the kiss before tilting his head to deepen the kiss.

God he missed this, he missed Bill. Bill let go of Dipper's wrist, letting it drape over his shoulder. He moved the hand that held Dipper's wrist to the back of his neck.

At this point Dipper's brain had shut down. All thoughts, and logic were thrown out the window, his heart taking control, all he could do right now was feel. Feel Bill's soft warm lips against his own, and his hand in his hair. He could feel his heart beating against his rib cage.

The kiss got hungrier, teeth clashing against each other while trying to get as much of each other as they could. Heated and fast. Like they hadn't seen each other in years. But in reality it had only been three weeks.

Everything went so fast, before Dipper could process it, his back was against the bed and Bill was kissing and sucking his neck. Dipper let his eyes fall closed and he bit his lip, his hands making their way to Bill's hair.

What was he doing? He shouldn't be doing this, but it all felt so good. He couldn't even bring himself to tell Bill to stop. He didn't want him too.

Soon clothes where off, Dipper's legs wrapped around Bill's waist, his nails scratched into the demon's tan skin, and his teeth dug into Bill's shoulder trying to keep himself quiet.

It was so wrong, but felt so right. All he could focus on was Bill. The rhythmic thrusting of his hips, Bill's scent of cinnamon filling his nose, just everything. Nothing else mattered, just Bill. And that's how Bill liked it.

Just as quickly as it all began it ended, to soon in Dipper's opinion. Bill now laid next to Dipper, both trying to catch their breaths. Bill pulled Dipper closer. Dipper didn't protest, instead he cuddled closer to the blonde, basking in his warmth once again. Soon his eyes fall closed and he welcomed sleep. A part of him hoping this was just part of a dream, the other part of him knew it was real.

The next time Dipper opened his eyes he was met with a sun lit attic and an empty bed. He sighed and ran his hands up his face and through his hair. The previous nights events played back in his head. He knew it couldn't have been a dream, it felt too real to be a dream. Not to mention he was still naked.

After a few minutes or so Dipper threw the sheets off himself and rolled out of bed. He pulled on last night's shirt and boxers, grabbed his towel from the door and headed to the bathroom for a shower.

He turned on the water and waited for it to heat up. While doing so he caught his reflection in the mirror. A groan of frustration escaped his lips, his neck and shoulders were covered in bite marks and hickeys.

"God dammit Bill.." he muttered.

Dipper stepped into the shower, he would figure out what to do about the markings later. For now he just needed to get clean. He felt disgusting.

While he was in the shower he swore that last night would never happen again. It was all out of his system now,. Now he could never see Bill again.

After his shower he stared at himself in the mirror. He couldn't remember the last time his neck looked this bad. He sighed. Lucky for him, his sister's make up was still all over the bathroom counter. He searched until he found a tube labeled concealer. Dipper squirted a little out onto his hand and rubbed it in till all the spots that couldn't be covered with his shirt, looked normal. He hoped Mabel wouldn't notice he used it, he put it back in the exact spot he found it just in case.

Then went and he got dressed and stumbled downstairs and into the kitchen. Mabel and Ford sat at the kitchen table and Stan was at the stove. Mabel and Ford turned to look at him. Fury and accusation written all over their faces. They knew.

Dipper's whole being just stopped, he felt like he couldn't breathe.

"Dipper? Are you okay?" Mabel asked.

Dipper shook his head and and blinked. The furious looks shifted to worry.

"Uh, yeah.. I just didn't sleep well last night.." He muttered, taking an empty seat at the table.

"Are you sure? You looked like you just saw something horrible." Mabel said.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry." Dipper confirmed.

Ford eyed him suspiciously. He wasn't easily fooled, he knew something was up, and sleep deprivation was not the only cause of Dipper's behavior. This wasn't the first time after all.

The first time was last week when he was telling Dipper about a potential paranormal abnormality. When he turned to face Dipper from his desk he had the most horrified look on his face. Something was going on in that head of his and Ford was going to find out what.

Dipper was pretty quiet for the rest of breakfast. He had come to the conclusion that he would have to go to drastic measures to keep Bill away from him. When the kitchen was all cleaned up Dipper retreated into his room before anyone could stop him. He quickly rummaged around his room trying to find a book he knew could have the answers.

After about 15 minutes of turning his room upside down he found it. A think leather bound book with no title. He flopped down in his desk chair and cleared a space so he could crack the book open.

 _'I will read this book cover to cover till I find something..' He thought as he scanned the first page._

All the pages were brown with age and some of the ink was a little lighter than the rest. Symbols and diagrams filled the pages, written notes in the margins to round it all out. This book had been read a million times over.

Dipper was halfway through till he realized, there was nothing useful. There was a million ways to kill a demon, how to identify one, and even how to trap one. But Dipper didn't need any of those! He thought about salt..but that would raise suspicion. Then he remembered, holy water. Ford had insisted he keep some around just in case. He mentally thanked his great uncle and when for his messenger bag.

The small bottle was still full. He had never had to use it before. He guessed there was a first time for everything. That is if Bill came back. But who was he kidding? Of course he was going to o try and come back. He would just have to wait.


End file.
